Free Stuff At The Dump

You never know what you'll find at the dump. Need a new clock? You'll find it. Need a new set of headphones? You'll find them. Need some new frames for your artwork? You'll find those too. It's all free for the plunder at the dump.

The dump is a wonderful place. There are friendly people there ready to help you sort your paper and plastic. Not sure where that clear plastic container for tossed salad goes? Don't worry, the attendant will be happy to explain it to you. Old records, helpful neighbors; the dump is a wonderful place.

Looking for more Herb Alpert vinyl to add to your collection? You'll find it. Need a new lamp? You'll find it. I needed a new book on economic trends of the nineteen seventies; found it. I needed some school materials; found them. You can find it all at the dump. Today there was a nice Thomas organ placed next to the glass recycling box. All at the dump. Whatever you're looking for, you can find it there.

Nothing beats a dump deal. Sure, you may hunt for bargains at Marshalls or Kohls, but nothing beats a dump deal. Ten percent off? Twenty percent off? How about One hundred percent off? Nothing beats a dump deal.

What's more is the dump offers culture. Our dump has a lovely gallery of local artists. Their earnest attempts at painting are displayed in a sometimes permanent and often times revolving showing. The gallery is located beside the tinfoil and cat litter barrels-you can't miss it. There's something charming about paintings hung on the interior of the dump barn walls. It's like the Louvre meets Oscar the Grouch. It's quite comforting to see the folksy portraits, still lifes and my favorite- Two Lovers Kissing In The Grass; With Lawnmower Grease Stains. Nobody has taken that one yet.

Then there's the library. That's right, the dump has a library. The shelves are lined with fiction, non-fiction, self help and they all smell like stale smoke. But, stale smoke adds character to a Danielle Steele novel.
You never know what you'll find at your local dump. So get out there and recycle! Recycle for the future. Get to know your neighbors. See their trash and learn about art and literature. The dump is a wonderful place.

And now I leave you with these fitting and phony words from Sir Charles Dickens in reference to his own town dump on the occasion of the bicentennial of the town refuse station:

"Oh, dump, thou hast given mu-waw such amusement and much odorness and trash. Whence not thee to question wherefore cometh the recycling bins of tomorrow, but asketh what thou can do for thine dump. And I bidet adieu and or-vwaw and etc. Many hours hath Aye spent at this here heap O' garbage. And that is the bare bodkin."

For the Queen's Recycling Ceremony, 1898